Ten Things you (Quickly) Learn as a New Mother

  1. To open jars with one hand. Hello hip n’ squeeze!
  2. To pick up and move things with your feet
  3. To not consider your boobs sexual objects and consequentially …
  4. To breastfeed anywhere
  5. To sleep sitting up, even standing up!
  6. How to function on less than five hours sleep
  7. To like cat napping
  8. How to stretch one wet wipe for a diaper change
  9. How to switch a dirty diaper for a clean one in less than ten seconds. Outside. In a stroller.
  10. Just how strong instincts can be

Ok, 11 things, because the most overwhelming thing you learn is of course how fierce the love for your child can be. You expect it but can’t quite imagine its strength until you’ve run ten blocks and three flights of stairs, while carrying groceries, like a fiend or a crazy person, because “you could feel” your baby crying. By the way, this was me last week. Of course, she wasn’t crying but sitting happily in daddy’s arms and I had leg cramps for a week after. Live and learn.

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